Updated: Apr 8
Remember the game of bloody knuckles? You pretended to strike your friend with your fist and if they reacted with a nervous movement you shouted, “you flinched!” and then you got to punch them on the arm as their punishment? Ahh, good times! This instinctive reaction reveals a little more when we look at it under the energetic microscope and apply it to how we can change our conditioned responses to situations that bring us pain.
Many an empath has had the privilege of being exposed to some type of dysfunctional situation in life. Why would this happen? We are inherently good people that seek to help others, so why would we attract people into our lives that take advantage of our innocence, naivete or willingness to please? This lens is 3rd dimensional, meaning from a human perspective. We all have a sense of right and wrong, but the soul doesn’t take fairness into account when it measures a good life. The soul resides in a higher dimension and is interested in expansion and self-empowerment. So, the soul wants to experience these seemingly challenging situations in order to surmount their obstacles and live life from a broader perspective.
Empaths attract narcissists and narrowminded people like a moth to a flame! Believe it or not, these people and the havoc they wreak in our lives are meant to help us find our personal power. They find ways to undermine who we are by judging and criticizing us. Always wanting to improve, we listen to their complaints about us and put our heart and soul into pleasing them.
Their manipulation techniques come at a great cost to our self-esteem, but we remain vigilant. We erroneously believe that our love can fill the empty space inside of another soothing all their wounded places. In this moment of feeling like we can heal them, we are actually taking their power! (Yes, you read that right…) We are deciding that we know what is best although we do not truly know how they feel or what they think for we are not in their body. We can feel their energy, but only they can know their energy. In assuming we can help and deciding that our way of helping is the right way, we do to them the very thing that they do to us. We take away their right to choose, and in doing so we state on an energetic level that we believe they are not capable of running their own lives. How’s that for law of attraction? From an energetic stance can you see why empaths might attract people that seek to control them?
Walking the tightrope
An empath’s ability to flow into another’s energy and feel where they might need support is a gift. Having clear boundaries as to when to offer that support is a necessity. Using discernment to understand who gets to have our support is paramount. It is never a sure thing, so we must tread lightly when we shine our light on another. Educate yourself through counseling, books, and support groups. If you are hoping to uplift another, be sure it is coming from a strong sense of self. If you are doing it in hopes of gaining their acceptance, be willing to dig in and discover why you might need their approval. Your self-worth is your responsibility, and it will never come through the eyes of another. As you see the dysfunctional pattern and the way you chose to be a part of it, you stand on the precipice of choosing differently.
When we stub our toe on the coffee table, we feel the pain, and are more aware of our body when we are near that piece of furniture. Emotional awareness can work the same way, if we will take the time to tune into how we feel in the presence of others. When their influence has a negative impact on us, our spirit will work hard to get our attention. It will offer us a new way to interact, but we must be willing to make a healthier choice.
Take the plunge! New is not bad. New is not hard. New is different. This simple exchange of vocabulary can lower your resistance to making positive changes in your life. Knowing that life could be different when you are struggling or are in pain is called hope. Hope is a higher vibrational energy than worry and anxiety and hope alone can buoy you as you gather your strength.
My experience with the spirit world says that recovery is possible. They tell me that as long as humans draw a breath on the earth plane, they hold the energy to do life differently. Today, choose to take that breath, cross your fingers, and know that you are worth receiving all you choose to give another. Believe that others can also make their own choices as to when to accept the love and support you offer them. We are all the keeper of our minds and of our bodies, so give those bloody knuckles a wide berth ‘cause homey don’t play that no more.