Updated: Feb 18
As Dr. Wayne Dyer alluded to in his book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, I was “sick of my sickness.” In the past 2 years I have experienced personal losses that came as a shock. In a plea to my team of guides to receive help in detaching from the pain of rejection and failure I stumbled onto Jan Spiller’s book “Cosmic Love.” While it does not reveal the secrets of the universe, her wisdom does shed light on what the gifts of each of those relationships were and why I drew them into my life.
What if you knew the direction your soul wanted to take you in this lifetime and how that affected those you loved? Would you alter the way you approached your lover, your friends, your coworkers or your children if you understood precisely why you were in each other’s lives?
Spiller’s book demystifies the love contract with all of those you hold dear and offers you peace in accepting that what you did together, is actually what you came to do.
If you want to enhance your relationship with others, consider spending an afternoon consuming “Cosmic Love.” Spiller shares what gifts you bring to each of your relationships based on combining the birth information from both people’s astrological charts. It’s best to have the date of birth, birth time and location of each relationship you wish to examine. You can input everything on her website Cosmiclove.com. Next comes the fun of putting the information to use in real time. This will require an awareness of how you are currently operating and a willingness to shift your mindset in order to make use of the gifts you are both giving and receiving. I personally find these insights to be powerful because it changes the why do they? and what am I doing wrong? to Aha! this is what this relationship needs from me! and this is how they are helping me.
I was married to a man whose gifts to me, according to Spiller’s book, included teaching me about self-awareness. During the marriage, I stopped taking my personal needs into account once I started having children. As it happens with many women, my children’s needs became my center point. I was constantly baffled as to why anytime my husband had free time he would indulge in his favorite pastimes. It was a consistent source of conflict in our marriage. Like a lot of women, I assumed he should want to spend his free time with his family. I felt a sense of duty and obligation to my family, and I wanted to be the perfect mother and wife. In my mind, indulging in personal hobbies that costs money took precious resources from our family, so I devoted my time to doing things that centered around my boys. I realize now that in taking time for himself, my husband was demonstrating the very thing I needed to embrace in my life. Instead of trying to change his behavior, I could have accepted his healthy desire for play and would then have been able to give myself permission to pursue my connection with my inner child. I needed more than anything to be selfish in order to feel whole. My emptiness would plague me until I cared enough about myself to take responsibility for my needs, which came too late in our game.
I believe there is a lot of power in understanding our relationships from a higher perspective. It validates that there is a divine plan. This information does not guarantee happiness with all paramours, but it does help us to metabolize any pain by recognizing that not all relationships are meant to have fairy tale endings. In the past I would have said my marriage was a failure and found ways to make him solely culpable for our demise. Now, as I’ve come to measure it against a different scale, I realize that we both gave each other the gifts we were meant to receive. My newfound joie de vivre which includes pa..len…ty of me time, empowers me to release my past, knowing that, in fact, our relationship was a resounding success!
Since my move to Virginia, I’m vibing with the state motto: Virginia is for lovers! Valentine’s day is around the corner, and I’d like to offer one lucky winner a chance to increase the love vibe of their home.
Send me a photo of your love and marriage area of your home and I will select a submission to help you bring that space into balance using the principles of Feng Shui, and offer you ideas on how to support this energy in your home.
The love and marriage area in a home is located in the back right area on your floorplan (this is the photo you need to submit) . It resonates with fire energy, holds the softest yin energy of the entire house and rules relationships of all kinds. Submit below!