We all grow and change in life and that often results in moving or renovating homes. I enjoy working with clients when they are changing stages in life because their energy is in a place of expansion. Even when they are downsizing their living situation, their spirit is growing and embracing the new adventure that lies ahead!
When I am hired during the first stage of committed relationships, I often help a couple navigate design styles by honoring both people in a space, especially if one person is moving in with the other. During this phase it becomes paramount that the person with the bigger claim in the space loosen up their grip on that energy and allow the “newcomer” to bring their energy and belongings into the home.
In my experience, this can be a challenging time, particularly for men that have lived alone, as they are naturally accustomed to asserting their power. Women, on the other hand, are more tuned into softening a space by incorporating design to enhance the comfort of both individuals. Those in tune with their feminine (yin) can feel a space emotionally, while those tapped into their masculine (yang) tend to focus more on how it functions practically.
A classic example we can all relate to is when a man might be reluctant to give up his prized mounted animal collection (displayed proudly on the living room wall - I mean where else does one put such a stellar collection?) for a woman’s aesthetic sense. He might be thinking “my deer head needs the impact wall due to its size!” While she feels “this wall sets the tone for the room, and I don’t want to build my design concept around a lodge theme.” When we expand from couple-hood into a family, the house once again goes through an energetic shift. Everything from babyproofing to organizing the family, incorporating their interests and skillsets now must come to the forefront. In this new stage of life, I always encourage people to set up the home to encourage more independence for children. I call this “kidshui.” I often suggest to clients with school age children for example, to have a family calendar located in a common area (like a kitchen) and hung low enough on a wall for kids to write on in a color of their choosing, which then becomes their special color (also think bigger squares as their fine motor skills are still developing). This allows the children to see (tapping into visual learning styles) how they fit into their family, as well as teaches them they are one of many and may need to learn about flexibility. We parents can’t be in two places at once!
When our kids age up, the house experiences turmoil as we all struggle to have the faith needed to allow our now young adults to fledge. There is a mixture of excitement and sadness that engulfs our nest as we are left with empty closets and bedrooms that once filled our hearts to the brim. With all the many stages of life that we go through emotionally, we are always adapting our space physically.
From an energetic stance, each time we allow our spaces to accommodate our needs, we are sending our inner world validation that we matter. We create the physical space to support the energy expansion that happens when new passions and interests come a knockin’. We may not always feel equipped to handle these new experiences, but our soul knows that we can sustain the energy required to push our limits and accomplish our heartfelt desires. When we honor the changes taking place emotionally and mentally by physically changing the form and function of a home, we are energetically planting our Google flag. We are stating to the universe in no uncertain terms, that we are home.
The opposite can also be true. Just as the soul becomes embodied, so too does the body become ensouled. Our spirits speak symbolically. Our homes reflect our spirit and how they are designed tells our story. If your space is not a reflection of the new energy you carry as life has its way with you, then quite frankly…it’s not YOUR home. When we stay in a place that lives in the past, meaning our old vibration, we don’t align with new experiences that can feed our souls. Life becomes boring and we start looking for ways to manage the pain of loneliness and disconnection. Hello mid-life crisis!
How then do we navigate these changes? We make how we feel a priority in our lives and allow those new needs and desires to take shape in our home. Houses are like people. They have unique characteristics and charm. They have needs and boundaries that limit them. Just like humans, they need support from us to become better versions of themselves. We are creating a symbiotic relationship with our space: a house wants to be loved and the people in it want to feel safe and nurtured. I’m not a dating wizard, but not even “Match.com” can compete with this kind of magic!